


Kate the Cryptid Fucker.

by Damien, Harlow (Damien)



Series: /r/nosleep fanfics [1]
Category: How to Survive Camping - Fainting--Goat
Genre: Based on a /r/nosleep story, Crack -adjacent, Cunnilingus, Dubcon adjacent, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Magical Vagina Orb, POV First Person, Skull Fucking, Sub Kate (How to Survive Camping), The Man With The Skull Cup is a Dom (How to Survive Camping), You don’t say no to creatures like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23213806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damien/pseuds/Damien, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damien/pseuds/Harlow
Summary: Kate’s found a method to make a unique kind of sex toy, and ends up losing it. The Man With The Skull Cup finds it. He brings it back to her. Or something like that.
Relationships: Kate/The Man With The Skull Cup (How to Survive Camping)
Series: /r/nosleep fanfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699717
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Kate the Cryptid Fucker.

Holding the little glass ball in both hands, I rolled it from side to side. Through the frosted glass, I could faintly see the stone charm it holds. I could barely hear or feel it as it bounced off the glass walls, but that wasn’t the point of it.

I’d spent months researching this in private, avoiding looking into it when anyone could show up. I have very little shame at this point, and only a few things in this world can really embarrass me, but I have a sense of decorum. The kinds of tomes that talk about this sort of stuff aren’t exactly the kind you could read at the park. This isn’t particularly risqué, but it’s also probably the most vanilla thing out of tomes focused on summoning Incubi or binding yourself to a Succubus, to use some more commonly understood examples.

It’s a simple thing, I only had to buy glass made in the right region and paint a symbol on it in the right kind of mud. When it dried, the dark, rich mud wasn’t on the outside, and a stone I believe has the same symbol on it was inside. It was ready to be activated for a while before I did, but I hesitated. It’s one thing to use recipes from the library for protection, but it felt dirty to even consider using it for something as dumb as weird masturbation.

I’d had a few experiences with people of various genders, but other than my own fingers and toys, nothing had ever been down there. It isn’t something I usually have time to dwell on, though, so this past week being a lull in activity for both mundane and non-mundane visitors left me with far too much time on my hands.

It was late at night, like all of the best of my decisions. I’d checked the windows, dropping the blinds and closing the curtains, then I set up candles. It was a nice effect, and some music played by the window the little girl was at helped insulate me from everything. It felt like I was safe and cozy, and that nothing could hurt me. I guess it wasn't completely wrong.

The orb was in its case, a small wooden box carved with an indent in its center. A soft velvet lined it, keeping the glass from getting scratched in transit. With the lid open, it made a pretty display.

I stood in front of it, wearing an oversized tee and some panties that probably fit properly once, but that went from covering my cheeks to wedging themselves halfway up my ass now. I ran my fingers over it, expecting it to have changed at one point for some reason. It was the same slightly chilled glass, with no obvious markings.

I had put a small straight pin into the velvet, and its silver glinted at me like it was calling me. I knew it was a dumb idea, but I slid out the pin anyway, considering my fingers. They’re a little calloused, and stabbing through them would be a bad idea. Instead, I tilted my hand, poking the sharp tip into my palm and letting a driblet of blood come up. Using the pin, I dripped my blood onto it, and the color seemed to disperse immediately. The previously frosted white shell took on a more clear, pinkish hue. The stone inside was visible, but barely. It was as if it’d also gone more translucent.

I felt something then, like my vulva was being perfectly cupped. As someone who rarely has perfectly fitting anything, it was odd.

I scooped the orb up, almost dropping it the first time I felt fingers pressing into my skin. Nothing was there, and the shape was familiar. After all, I’ve had these fingers for decades as a single woman, my bits would recognize them anywhere.

The orb was warmer, and I struggled to walk and cradle it at the same time. It wasn’t too large or awkward to hold, outside of the fantom sensations. Visually, it was smooth, tinted glass. But, physically, I felt soft skin. Stroking along a curve I could feel but not see, I felt the touch as though I were sliding my finger across my own labia. At the top, I felt a nub and ran my fingers over it, letting out a breath as I relaxed. I spread my legs, seeing only a bit of wetness, but no pressure on my panties. I slid them down, spreading my legs wider, and felt the curves on the glass change. Even pinching and moving the lips inside the orb didn't visibly affect my actual body, and I was thankful. It was connected to my nerves, not physically to my body.

Sliding my fingers down, I felt the indent and pushed at it, my fingers finally disappearing into the orb and revealing its magic. I curved them, and I found the perfect angle to massage my g-spot. It was nice, but I wanted to try more. I scrambled out of bed, throwing open my closet door. Behind shoes that I kicked aside I grabbed a box. It took some effort to drag it, but I needed its contents.

I spun the lock, undoing it with my free hand as I wiggled my fingers inside the orb. I let the lock hang, throwing the lid open. From inside, I pulled out my favorite toy, a thick dildo with a suction cup. I stuck it to the nightstand, using my fingers in the orb to line it up. It took a little effort, but I managed to pop the head of the dildo into the orb, and I felt it inside me too. I pushed the orb down inch by inch, feeling myself stretch to fit the dildo. The orb slid down, past where the opposite glass wall should’ve hit, instead it slid nicely down all the way. I felt full, stretched past capacity, and started stroking the dildo with the orb, fucking myself at any angle just by moving the glass ball. It didn’t take long for my fingers to start to dig into the orb, my body shaking as I sped toward an orgasm. I moved my free hand down to my actual clit, just making sure I could still feel it, and I could. It took a few seconds before my cursing drowned out the music, and I left the orb at the base of the dildo.

I went to the bathroom to clean up, and I felt good. It hadn’t hurt me, which was a relief. I threw my box of toys back in the closet, the orb in its case on top, and resisted the urge to use it again for a few days, but I still had no ill effects. Even when I used the orb for hours, I still felt fine. For once, something supernatural was only helping me, and I was pretty glad about it.

That was, until I was startled half way through a session by my radio and phone kicking to life within seconds of each other. I rushed to get out, and stuffed the orb into my sweatshirt pocket with my phone, and the radio clipped to my belt. It wasn't an elegant solution, nor a particularly comfortable one as the rough cotton rubbed against the orb’s labia and my phone bounced off it occasionally, but when people decided to be stupid and break rules, I'm more focused on getting out to protect them than my comfort. I hopped on the four-wheeler, racing against everything on my land in hopes that the idiots that follow the lights might not get snacked on. It's bad press for my campground, and the paperwork's a real bitch.

I had to swerve around, avoiding loose ground and anything sticking up, just in case, and I felt the tires on one side leave the ground at least twice. It must've been during one of those that the orb fell out, because when I lead the campers back from the edge of my property, settled against each other because they refused to be seperated, I didn't have it. I combed through the woods on foot, looking everywhere, but other than the itchy feeling like sitting nude on grass, I had nothing. I told everyone to keep an eye out and call me if anyone found it, but when I felt fingers, nobody had called. I felt the grass leave, then a hand gently groping me. The fingers were cold, and I felt colder spots occasionally, but not in a recognizable way.

The little tickles were a bit bothersome, making my job more difficult and making my attention span shorter, but it was something I could deal with. They explored, fingers grazing across every inch of the orb inside and out, and they must've known what they were doing.

After a little while of them teasing me, I felt fabric again, and I figured whoever had found it was walking around. I went inside my house, sat down, and just waited. It didn't take long before they stopped and pulled out the orb, cold fingers drawing a line down my left labia, then one down the other lip. They drew a line between them, then drew a line horizontally across my clit and the space just above my vagina, connecting them with a line from my clit down. I shivered, understanding quickly that they'd written "HI".

They drew another line on the left, drawing a diagonal line from the top of my right lip down to the middle of the left, then down diagonally to the bottom of the right. It only took the first line of the A to know they were writing my name, in slow and deliberate strokes, to make sure I knew what they were doing.

They wrote it again, and I clenched a little, not sure whether to be scared or horny. Horny won out, though, when I felt two of the fingers holding it slide inside, holding it up with them. The other hand teased my clit and lips, before I felt something strange, soft and flexible but very hard in one spot. It took a few tries for me to understand, but it was definitely a tongue. A tongue I've had in my mouth, if the stud in it was anything to go off of.

My brain locked up hard, considering that a creature that could and would maim people for simply being rude to him had his fingers stuffed into my surrogate vagina and his tongue was rubbing my clit like it was something he'd done to me a million times before. When he closed his lips around it, sucking at my clit, the part of my brain that was scared shut off. At worst, he chose to do this and had some kind of expectation of me. He must have his reasons, and it felt way too good to do anything but enjoy it, if I could even communicate with him. I clenched hard, thigh muscles straining in my pants, as my body told me to stroke the head between my legs that wasn't there. I felt a line traced on my clit, then a suck, then Y-E-S. A fancy 2 was followed by "N-O", which is a great word to have written on your clit with the tongue of an ancient being if you ever have the opportunity.

I clenched once, panting. I felt him speed up, bringing me close, and I started clenching and unclenching, letting him know I liked it. I was so close, then he stopped. I clenched twice, practically fluttering on his fingers, and I felt a puff of warmth a few times, like he was breathing on me. The back of my brain told me later he probably laughed at how needy I was, but in the moment, I was just pissed he'd stopped me short.

When he shoved in another finger and attacked my clit again, though, I came almost immediately. He went more and more gentle as he let me ride out my orgasm, kissing above my clit when I signalled "NO".

He drew a question mark on my skin, bringing my brain back into the equation. It took him writing again for me to understand "HOME?" I signalled yes, and it took almost no time for me to hear a knock at my door.

I grabbed his wrist after throwing open the door, and I yanked him inside. I shut the door, locking it, then noticed he had the orb in one hand, his cup in the other.

"Were you holding your cup the whole time"" I asked, a little confused.

He shrugged a shoulder at me, stepping past to my desk where he set down his cup. He quirked his brow at me, then smiled. "I think I did fine with one hand. But no, I obviously set the cup down, until I walked over.”

I sighed at him, crossing my arms. "So, what made you think you could do that?" I asked, nodding toward the chair behind him. He sat, back straight and crossed one leg over the other.

He shook his head, like he wass amused with my simple mind, and I shifted my weight onto one leg. He stared at my pants for a second, before politely looking back to my eyes. He popped his gum, letting the silence drag on before answering. "You liked it."

I couldn't lie to him, my face was bright red and my eyes practically sparkled. It was the best orgasm I've ever had, and I was dying for a repeat performance. "I guess." I said, playing it cool anyway.

He gestured me closer, then patted his thighs. I considered him, deciding that he's saved me enough to have my trust. I climbed onto his lap, the chill of his skin palpible even through both of our jeans.

"May I"" he asked, his hands hovering over my sweatshirt's bottom. I nodded, then he tossed it off of me. It hit the floor just behind me, and I was glad that I'd shaved everything recently.

I touched the edge of his hood, then mimiced his question. "May I"" I asked, only flipping it back once he'd nodded. I leaned close, pressing a kiss to his neck, and felt his skin under my lips. It tingled a bit, like mint, and I felt him swallow. He grabbed my chin, turning my face up towards him, and pressed our lips together for a quick kiss. This was much more my style than our first, and I forgot about my goal of undressing him in my focus of pressing his lip rings more and more into my lips.

He slid his hands up my sides, bringing my shirt with them, and gave me a grin when my bra was visible. It wasn't anything fancy, black and supportive with less fabric just in case I decided to wear something that showed off all of the goodness that this bra pushed up. I felt his hands slide to my ass, lifting me to make him able to bury his face into them. My fingers skimmed his head, gently tugging at his right earlobe before sliding down to unzip his hoodie. It slid off easy, and the love bites and hickies being sucked into my breasts helped keep me focused on getting him naked. I had his shirt off, his slender body against mine.

It took him a few tries, but he managed to pop the hooks on my bra, moving his focus to my hardening nipples. His lips popped off my right nipple and he set me down, my pussy rubbing against an obvious bulge. I slid out of my sleeves and bra straps, his mouth only leaving my breasts to swap.

"May I have a moment"" I asked, starting to slide off. I struggled with my boots, throwing them with a loud thud as each came off. Then, facing away from him, I let the man see as I slid down my pants. They were most of the way off when I heard two thuds, then felt him turn me. I pressed my bare chest against him, my nipples hard from his chill, then went to work on his pants. The zipper stuck slightly, but when it hit the bottom, I could feel the bulge growing. I palmed it, stroking the man through his silky boxers, until he grabbed my wrist. He put a bare foot on my pants, letting me just step out, and he moved my hands to make me start stripping his pants off as well.

"I don't want to get my jeans wet," he said. When they were down enough, he stepped out of them and his boxers. My eyes were glued to his cock, hanging heavily in front of him. "Like what you see"" he asked, a little cocky grin on his lips.

I nodded, following close as he stopped at the chair. He considered it, then grabbed my wrist, walking me through my house like he owned it. He slid open my bedroom door, then sat on the edge of the bed. I climbed him, sitting with his cock trapped between us. I kissed him, my tongue guiding his.

He wrapped his arms around me and one hand pulled my hair, making me tilt my head back. He kissed a line up my throat, ending with a light suck on the side of my neck. I squirmed, letting out a tiny moan. "Oh, so that's what you sound like. I'll enjoy hearing you scream soon." he said, lifting my ass again. In a second, he had me moved and then slipped me onto his cock.

I shivered, pressing close to him instead of pulling away from the cold. His hands moved back to my ass, an unnatural strength lifting and dropping me. I did what I could, kissing him or biting him when I felt like it, until he stopped suddenly. He laid back, watching me, and instead offered me his hands. I took them, using whatever leverage I could to slam myself down on him. His cock felt like it was made especially for my pussy, and I’m not positive that it wasn’t.

His teeth caught his lip, watching me with a hunger that would’ve scared me on the face of anyone else here. He took back one of his hands, groping next to him. I had barely noticed anything on my way in, so focused on the idea of his cock, so I didn’t notice him dropping the orb into my sheets. I did notice when he grabbed it, though, and when he moved it over his lips. His dark eyes drilled into mine as he opened his mouth, licking a wide stripe up my pussy. He rotated it some, then focused on my clit, his eyes crinkling a bit in a grin. He was watching me unravel, and he was loving it.

I kept bouncing on his cock, letting my moans spill out, until he shifted and thrust up into me hard. I think I saw stars as he grabbed my hips, holding me in place as he absolutely wrecked me. I came ard, and I came loud. My short nails dug into his chest, thankfully not breaking the skin.

He dropped the orb and lifted me, pushing me over onto the bed instead of him. He stood behind me, shifting my posture as he needed to get me in the perfect position. He slid his cock back in, and I could feel my wetness running down my thighs. He didn’t mind, though, and ignored the sounds as he thrust in and out.

He kept one hand on my back, keeping it arched just right, then leaned forward and grabbed my hair, using it to yank my head up. “I expect you’d have no objections to using your mouth on your own orb?” He asked, and the only thought in my mind was about burying my face into it, so I did. Using what he did as a guide, I licked and sucked and nibbled at my own pussy, which is a very weird sentence to type.

He made a pleased sound in his throat, one I wouldn’t have heard if he hadn’t flattened against my back to bite and suck marks into my neck and shoulders. “Good girl,” he practically purred in my ear. The bites were a little harsh, his teeth sharp enough to draw blood if he wanted, but he kept himself just a step off of that. As he kept his pace, and I kept mine, I started to like the bites more and more. The pain mixed with pleasure, and my head swam. I buried my face into the orb, using it to muffle my scream as I came again, tears in the corner of my eyes from the intensity.

He slid out, rolling me onto my side, then laid next to me. His hand rubbed up and down my side as I panted, him not saying anything. He wiped away the tears that had formed, then kissed me again. It was slow and sweet, such a departure from the aura he normally tries to cultivate.

I cuddled up close, face buried in his neck, and let out a sigh. I was happy, perfectly content, then I noticed something poking my hip.

“Oh, fuck, you didn’t cum!” I said, intelligently, when I realized it. He gave me the look he always does, the one that means I’m being stupid, and waited for me to continue. “How do you want to...? Do you want to?” I gestured, helpfully, at his cock as if he had no idea what I meant.

He sighed, stroked my chin with his thumb, then rolled back. He had moved up the bed, and he looked very comfortable. “However you wish to try.” He said, giving me a smile that screamed that he was challenging me.

“Of course, Sir,” I told him, fluttering my eyelashes. I slid down, tucking my hair behind my ear, and went to town on his cock. I bobbed my head, letting my mouth make every slurping noise it would, and I lifted his sack. His balls felt like a normal human, mostly, ignoring the temperature. I rolled them gently, tugging slightly when I felt like it. I listened close, taking in every detail of his state from sound, and he was telling me everything.

His hand slid up to my ass, squeezing a cheek and massaging it. I almost choked on his cock when he spanked me the first time, taking everything down a little too fast. He had such a look of pleasure on his face, though, that I just focused on timing my breathing with his spanks, and pulling and rolling his balls with the hand not guiding his cock down my throat.

He slid his hand up my back, stopping at the nape of my neck. “Off, my good girl.” He said, and I rushed to comply. I kept in my position until he moved me, guiding me onto the floor. He had me hold my elbows behind my back, and I listened well. He grabbed my face, thumb on my lower lip, and I opened, staring up at him.

“Such a perfect girl...” he whispered, forcing his cock back into my mouth. He grabbed my hair, twisting it into a ponytail, then started a punishing pace. If it was anyone else, I’d have called it skullfucking, but that seems wrong somehow since it’s him.

I lost track of time, so focused on doing what he wanted and breathing properly, that I couldn’t tell you if it took 20 seconds or 20 minutes. He pulled out, hand going immediately to his cock to pump it, and commanded me to stay still. I left my mouth open, tongue almost poking out, and the first shot hit me in the mouth. It crossed from my tongue down my lip to my chin, and I almost licked it away before he repeated “Stay.” The next few landed on my face as well, then he pushed my breasts together, finishing on them. He stuffed his cock back into my mouth, and I sucked the last drops out like the good girl I am.

He pulled out, then swiped his index finger across my cheek and fed me the cum. I licked his finger clean, sucking it until he took it back. I lifted my left breast, making eye contact with him as I licked the cum off of it, then the right. He kissed me then, tasting himself but focused on pouring affection into me. “Thank you, Kate,” he said to me, mouth only centimeters from mine. I think I might keep this, though.” He picked up the orb from the bed, nestling it into its box. “Come now, I think someone’s trying to get into contact with you.”

In my living room, my radio was turned low but I could hear my name being called repeatedly. I snatched it up, turning it to its proper volume, and listened.

“Hey, Kate, please answer before I break in. Are you okay? I heard screaming, and I’m worried.” The new hire did really sound concerned, and I reached my thumb to hit the button when the Man did instead. “She’s quite fine, she’ll be out in... three minutes or so, I’d expect.”

I growled at him, my spark coming back to me as his thumb left the button. He slid back into his clothes, seeming quite genuinely pleased. “I wasn’t aware you had a submissive side so much as a ‘please don’t kill me’ side, Kate. I quite like it, and I expect I’ll see more of it?”

I blushed hard, nearly falling as I tried to hop into my pants again. “I, uh, I don’t know how freely to respond, to be honest. I don’t wish for your wrath, but I understand this is slightly different to accepting or not accepting a drink.

He just smiled, running his fingers over the constilations of bite marks. “Might want to wear a scarf, my good girl.” He commanded me, and I nodded. Easier to keep people from asking questions, and nobody wants to be known as Kate the Cryptid Fucker.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really like the idea of Kate and The Man With the Skull Cup having related but seperate conversations at the same-time because she's used to talking with humans and he's an absolute shitlord and I love him.
> 
> This is based on a story from /r/nosleep and a prompt from /r/DirtyWritingPrompts.


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